Call Me by Your Name: A journey of emotions, of first love, of longing and uncertainty.

It’s been three days since I watched Call Me by Your Name and I still can’t get if off my head. This is what I hate about watching good films. It leaves you thinking and exhausting your brain in a post- movie review. After seeing it, I think my mind goes on a very slight depressive state. I guess it also shows how good the film is. And it is. I’ve never felt this kind of emotion since watching Brokeback Mountain, a gay cowboy romance film, and Boyhood, an independently produced coming of age drama. Both were critically acclaimed in their own rights, and both had quite a lingering effect on me. Same is true with Call Me By Your Name. It is an exhilarating journey of emotions, of first love, of longing and uncertainty.

American Film Institute (AFI) and the National Board of Review were unanimous in declaring CMBYN as one of 2017’s best film, and I didn’t dare disagree. Film critics and moviegoers both gave the film glowing reviews. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 97 % approval rating, and since its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival  where it received critical acclaim, and after a ten- minute standing ovation at the New York Film Festival, it went on amassing favorable comments from those who have already seen the movie.  And now that the awards season is coming, it surely is a strong contender in the Golden Globes and might take home the popular golden statue known as Oscar in various categories.

Tagged as a romantic coming- of- age drama film, I personally think that it’s more than just a coming of age movie. It tackles the longing and uncertainty of first love, and the emotions we often feel during the process.  Neither is it a gay love story because the experiences and emotions felt by the characters were often shared by those in a heterosexual relationship. It’s a love story, period. A love story of first. A love story of discovery and “newborn desire, unbiased, and uncynical,” as per the words of the man who is directly responsible for bringing it to the big screen, Luca Guadagnino (I am Love, and A Bigger Splash).

With Northern Italy and the summer of 1983 as its backdrop, the stirring movie narrates the romantic and sexual relationship between Elio Perlman (portrayed effectively by Timothee Chalamet), a 17- year old boy, and his father’s American intern, Oliver (whom Armie Hammer gave life to on the big screen). It is an adaptation of Andre Aciman’s novel of the same name.

CMBYN had its fair share of many heartbreaking and tear-jerking scenarios. Hence, as one review puts it, “triumphant and heartbreaking.” It had so many moments of feels, will wrap your heart in bliss and will pierce it with pain at the same time. At the train station, with the arrival of the train, Elio reminded him of his passport which to me is really a caring gesture. Then, before getting on the train, they locked in a tight embrace with only Oliver's face being shown on the screen. His eyes are quite emotional as he lingers one last time on Elio's body. And, when Oliver tries to let loose of Elio, the latter clings to him a bit as if not wanting to let him go because letting him go at that moment would mean that he has to let him go forever. With Oliver gone, we see Elio sitting on a bench, not knowing what to do. 

Now with Oliver's absence, he is left there feeling uncertain. He is overwhelmed with sadness and longing. It is really depressing for me to see him in that state. And perhaps the most poignant moment came at the very last minutes of the film. After talking to Oliver on the phone and receiving the news that he is to be engaged soon, Elio sit by the fire and surge of emotions started showing on his face. It ran for several minutes, and looking at him in that situation is like seeing his soul for the first time and bearing witness to his emotional state. His longings for Oliver, and the pain he is feeling, were summed up by those tears falling from his eyes. As he cried, I cried with him. Oh, and as if his tears were not enough to make me cry, Steven's "Vision of Gideon" was played on the background. It added to the emotion of that particular scene. That, I think was the most emotional moment of the film.

 The movie hurt me. It hurt me so much in words I couldn't explain. What Elio felt during and after their separation pierced my heart and created a wound that will take time to heal. I felt so sorry for Elio and I wish I could hug him only to bring comfort to his longing heart. I understand his desire, his emotional and sexual desires. I feel them. If only they were given so much time to discover and develop their affections for each other. If only they were so brave enough to profess their love and confront their growing attractions for each other. If only. The movie left me devastated the way Oliver left Elio devastated upon breaking the news that he was engaged to be married.

It will sensually arouse you and will find yourself longing to experience the sensualities felt by the protagonists. Chalamet's portrayal of Elio as a boy with an abundance of sexual energy is not to be ignored. The need to be touched, the need to be kissed, and the need to be wrapped in a tight embrace always reflects in his actions whenever he is with Oliver, and Oliver is so generous to give them to him. I can say that their sexual chemistry is so compatible. The way Elio expressed his desires whenever with Oliver was reflected with his actions towards the latter. 

The way the actors gave life to their characters was so on point that I found myself personally drawn to them. It's really hard to imagine one without the other. Timothee Chalamet is such a work of art, a revelation, and a true actor. His nuances, his gestures, and body movements were so natural that it made me feel he isn't actually acting. Timothee Chalamet is Elio Perlman, and if he didn't get any of the coveted prizes from these awards season, I would personally hand him his own acting award because he deserves to be recognized.

Perhaps, outside the protagonists’ sphere, the most compelling character was the one that Mark Stahlburg gave life to- Elio’s forward- thinking father who gave the most powerful monologue about love. Upon the arrival of devastated Elio, he immediately went on delivering his speech and encouraged Elio to linger and find pleasure on the grief that he was feeling because what they had together was rare and genuine. 

Call Me by Your Name is a sensual triumph, an emotional achievement, and a heartbreaking ode of first love.  It is a depressing saga of two people who romantically fell in love with each other but were not given a chance to prosper their affections for one another.  It is a devastating tale of newborn desire, of generous love, of emotional and sensual encounters, one that will haunt me forever.